Month: January 2018

Shame

This is how the dictionary defines the word shame:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shame
Definition of shame
1   a:  a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety
     b:  the susceptibility to such emotion
                  • have you no shame?
2:  a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute : ignominy
                  • the shame of being arrested
3a:  something that brings censure or reproach; also: something to be regretted : pity
                 • it’s a shame you can’t go
b: a cause of feeling shame

This is a simple definition for a powerful and often destructive word.

In fact, the definition above is not accurate.

The definition above refers to GUILT, which is not the same as SHAME.  So first I’ll clarify the definitions:

GUILT: the feeling caused when a person acts (or fails to act) in a way that is counter to their own internal standards. A person feels GUILT when they do (or fail to do) something that they consider wrong. GUILT is based on a person’s actions, behavior, or impact on another person.

SHAME: the feeling that a person themselves is wrong, defective, not good enough, bad, etc. A person feels SHAME not because of their actions or inactions, but because of their being. SHAME is based on a person’s perception of their own worth.

So now that we have a working definition of shame, lets talk about it.
Shame is powerful. Shame takes away power from those who experience it.
Is shame rational?
Guilt may be rational at times. if I do something that is wrong, that is contrary to my own beliefs and morals, I feel guilt. Guilt makes me feel uncomfortable. Guilt feels BAD. Those feelings of discomfort may evoke change. This is true because GUILT is based on something you DID.
Shame is based on something you ARE. Shame is based on the belief that you are in some way defective, inadequate, not good enough, bad, flawed. When you carry shame with you, you carry the certain belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. You carry the belief that you are worth less than other people.

Shame is NOT RATIONAL.
Most people will feel shame occasionally. Embarrassment is a form of shame, though it is milder than the kind of shame that this piece is about. The burning cheeks, the anxiety, the self-consciousness we experience when embarrassed is short-lived. We can remember it later and feel it again, but it doesn’t follow us and oppress us daily. Shame is the thing that does that.
If you don’t understand what shame feels like, just try to remember the most embarrassing thing you ever did. Remember that time in 5th grade when you farted loudly during class and everyone turned to look at you. Remember when you were 14 and your swimsuit slipped down as you dove into the water, but you didn’t feel it and proudly climbed the pool ladder, only to look down and find something you did not expect to see. Recall the time your teacher singled you out in the classroom before a field trip, stating we wanted to make a good impression when we go wherever it is we are going, then turns his eyes on you, says your name, and adds, “that means no SLOB ACT!” Remember how your faced burned and how you wished you could disappear, and your eyes ached with tears, and even more humiliating, when your eyes shed those tears in front of everyone. Now imagine carrying that feeling with you through life, having it lurking in the back of your mind.
So that’s shame. That’s pretty weird, but so what, you might wonder.

Remember what else accompanied the embarrassment. Likely, angry thoughts about yourself, blame and disgust with yourself.
The difference is, with embarrassment those feelings quickly pass and the incident is largely forgotten. With shame, you carry them with you. They are always there somewhere in the background, ready to come up with the right provocation.
With shame, those feelings burrow like worms deeply into your mind, your heart. They burrow in and leave tracks of destruction, they make a home there, festering and sometimes growing larger, harder, hotter and more painful. They become a part of who you are, how you think of yourself, how you present yourself.
Shame changes the way you react to people, the way you set goals, the way you do almost everything you do.
Shame is the fuel that powers your negative internal dialog. It tells you lies, but we all tend to believe the lies we tell ourselves.
Shame becomes the poison that seeps into the rest of your life.
Where does it come from?    Watch for more on this soon
What does it do?                      Watch for more on this soon
What can be done about it?  Watch for more on this soon

Continue reading Shame

Cannabis Battles

Once again, a wrongheaded move; a bold leap into the abyss of stupidity has occurred.

Today it was announced that Jeff Sessions, the Attorney General placed by Donald Trump, has rescinded the Cole Memo, which was part of the legal structure that allowed for states to decide whether to allow legal use and sales of marijuana.   Note the word “part”, as it is important.

Currently the Rohrabacher-Farr amendment is in effect (hereafter R-F amendment because I don’t like spelling that long name).  The R-F amendment may provide continued protection, as it disallows the use of federal money for use against medical cannabis laws and has garnered bipartisan support in the years since its original passage in 2014.  The fight to pass the R-F amendment was a long one; the law was first sponsored in congress in 2001 and was voted down a number of times before it was finally passed.

Note this: the R-F amendment is only in effect until January 19th of this year.  We need to encourage our senators and congresspersons to renew this important legislation.  There is also a movement out there to expand the wording to also cover recreational marijuana in those protected states.

 After it was passed into law, it was tested in court numerous times, particularly as the Department of Justice (DOJ) evaded the purpose of the law by “misinterpreting” it to apply not to the people involved in the production, sales and distribution of medical marijuana but instead deciding that it applied only to government officials in those states that allowed medical marijuana.  Since no one was actually prosecuting those officials, the law ended up being fairly meaningless.  It did nothing to stop the investigation and persecution of providers by the DOJ.

When light was shed on the wrongful interpretation of the law by the DOJ, there were some objections and eventually court actions.  The DOJ was found to be in the wrong and was soundly scolded by the judge that made the ruling.  This was seen as a hallmark ruling in favor of MMJ.

So what does all this mean?  Its not clear!  This change may mean nothing, or it may usher in significant changes.

The AG wants it to mean the end of all legal use and distribution of marijuana, which he seems to think will somehow magically stop people using it.  He wants to restart the failed “War on Drugs” that led to nothing but problems for this country.  He wants to reinstitute the persecution of distributors and users of medical marijuana, not just recreational marijuana.

However, California just legalized recreational marijuana on New Year’s Day.  I personally find it interesting that this announcement came out right after the big day for California.  And I also suspect that our AG is in way over his head on this one.  An overwhelming majority of Americans support the availability of medical marijuana.  A smaller majority support the legalization or decriminalization of recreational marijuana.  There is also wide support for removing marijuana from the Schedule 1 drug list, as it has been conclusively proven to have medical benefits.  (Of course, those studies are science- based so the current administration probably does not plan to acknowledge them.)

Sessions may have just paved the way and lit the fuse that will eventually lead to full legalization.  The governing bodies of the states that have legalized and have reaped the benefits of legalization are unlikely to let those benefits be taken away by the federal government.  Twenty-nine states (and the District of Columbia) allow medical marijuana use and sales; 8 states plus the District of Columbia allow for recreational sale and use.   Only 10 states completely ban marijuana for any purpose.

That’s what the AG and the DOJ will face if they choose to press this issue.  40 out of 50 states allow some kind of use of marijuana.  That is a lot of battles to fight.  Sessions has spent much of his career gunning for marijuana but I think he has overstepped this time.

For more information:

The Cannabist: Jeff Sessions Rescinds Cole Memo

Washington Post: Why Jeff Sessions is going to lose his war against cannabis

Stay tuned for more on this subject