So we left with questions about support payments and shares of the 401K account. The attorney told us that the judge would likely insist that I get support. He was adamant that in a long-term marriage, and especially since I am presently unemployed, the judge would be unlikely to allow any other option.
He also informed us that our legal plan, the cost of which was deducted weekly from the ex’s paycheck, covered all kinds of things, but not divorce costs. (So you may be wondering, as I was, why he has been paying for it all this time.) To retain him would cost about $2000 or more although we had already completed and filed the paperwork. So, there was that….
Again the ride home was long and quiet, even though the drive was only about 10 minutes. We felt dejected and afraid that we would not be able to complete it at all. How would we afford to pay that fee? How would we manage all of this?
Remember this?
“Not one to be held down for long, I started working on a contingency plan. If you asked friends who know me well, you’d discover that one of my catchphrases is, “I’ll figure something out!”. So I started my figuring process.”
I commenced the figuring process once again. I searched and finally discovered a ProSe divorce service who said they could prepare the QDRO for a reasonable price. We managed to see the helper quickly since she was going to be there the next day for a few hours. As we headed there we weren’t sure what would happen, since this process had been full of surprises, but we packed our hopes into the truck and held our breath.
We sat in the lobby of a converted house for a few minutes and then were greeted by Lovette, the woman who we were to meet with. Lovette told us she had been doing pro-se divorces for 20 years and had inherited the business from her mother, who also spent many years doing it. She told us she has never had a QDRO rejected so we feel pretty confident about this. Well, we do NOW. But then? Another story… so here goes!
We came into her office and gave her our gadzillions of pages of forms for the divorce along with telling her our story. She looked them over and talked about the process, and then —
We mentioned the A and B issue, with me being the petitioner and the ex being the respondent. She looked at the original filing, which I completed while not living in the state of Wisconsin. And she gave us a shocker! She said that the filing should have been blocked because I can’t file a court action in a state I don’t live in. She said she would check but that she thought that I had to be living in the state at the time of the filing, and that we would have to file again with him being the petitioner. I looked at the form, and while it asked if I had lived in the state in the last 6 months and the county in the last month, it didn’t say “If you answer no to any of the above questions, you may not file at this time” or anything of that sort. I was puzzled. Why would it not warn me on the form? Or at the very least, why would no one at the courthouse have rejected the petition?
We talked about possible alternative plans, and left feeling discouraged and confused, fearful that we would have to dismiss the current case if it was invalid, then wait a month to file again, followed by the requisite waiting period in Wisconsin of at least 120 days before the action could be completed. This was not what we wanted.
We went home unsure and discouraged but continued to plan as if we could still follow through on the date we had been given. The next day she called to let us know she had checked and we could go ahead. The petition was valid because one of us did live in Wisconsin and in Milwaukee county at the time of filing. What a relief!
And that is the story to date. We wait until January 31st when we once again appear at the courthouse, this time with an actual court date. Or, at least, I sure HOPE so!
Kate's Ramblings. 